JailHouse Maki

The one thing I miss the most about posting here is being able to explain why I design things the way I do.

I'm unable to draw or add something "because it's cool/looks cool", it goes against my being to not over calculate and want to make every bit as meaningful as I can while finding some sort of balance. So, if you've known me over the years, the last real Maki version was the Yakuza suit and HS Bancho designs.

The Yakuza suit was during a time when anything seemed possible and I felt super in charge of my life. The Bancho was not being in charge, being back in school, but knowing one day I'll go back to my old ways. Thing is it changed me so much (IMO broke my hope in the human race and life in general), and then I felt really trapped in a city I can't get comfortable with, and a life that felt like jail though I was completely "free" to do as I want. But I don't want anything, I've learned to not get excited by much so I'm not disappointed. Sorry about the sad feels, muh brethren, but just being objectively honest.

So I already felt stabbed by family, friends, now life. Therefore I made a jail Maki with impact scars on the shoulders and mid back. Feel like everyone in the current climate of reality judges me anyway and then I sentence myself, especially when I try to make things work with my own hardworked effort so...there we go.

I explained to someone once that I drifted away from DA cuz everyone was too eager everytime I posted my feelings with the "MAKI ARE YOU OKAY?? DO YOU NEED TO TALK? HECK YOU GAVE ME A SAD" No, I didn't need to talk. I already did the talking through the image I posted. Real shitty events happen and I show you proof I survived it, so I share. I still made it through and transmuted that impact into something that my mind could handle just fine to translate to my mobile functions and my eyes. Like, I'm good. I understand it's cuz ppl want to care, but I don't feel understood when that happens. I'm sure one person out there has to get what I mean.

Also I need to visit some ppl.
Not people that want to screw me though.

But I'd like to visit some of you that I've known for like...ever on here.