Serviteur

Really appreciate the comments on the last submission.

I had a chaotic dream last night that made me realize there was a lot more to things than what I felt.
I had to escape a paradise resort where no one believed the suffering and manipulation I was going through because they believed the abuser instead. They tried to hold me down, there was a gunfight, and yeah, so much- it transforms through 3 different scenes where my life in the end was a movie but the acting crew didn't realize that life they participated in was real. It was about a ton of secluded fear and unexpected abandonment, a lot of systematic/village neglect. Then I found footage of myself at 3 different ages, news broadcasts where I was involved in situations where I wasn't being cared for: the justice system returned me back to the abusers, I ran away with some girls while so happy not knowing stolen toys were bad, and lastly I got kidnapped as a toddler by a shady man. That last shit was unsettling.

Anyway, the image is about having to defend yourself from the things that should be protecting you while being given shitty tools to survive on your own and knowing you're going to blow shit up one way or another even if you don't want to participate. You have to dominate back, when really all you want to do is breathe deeply, but for some reason you haven't been given clearance to ascend or the timeline for peace. Limited time, limited breath, etc along those lines....it's a bit much.

For all that, I did enjoy the whole process.
Even the land mines I was trying to get done with.
I keep hearing Holy Diver in my head.



xoxo